Ok – I need your help to build this site. I would love to spend more time on this site and in the future, build in some features to help you tell your stories.
To do that, I need some help getting links out (to build traffic). If you have a blog, let’s talk about sharing links. If you have Facebook or Myspace, share a link…
btw – you guys are awesome. Thanks for reading!
A couple weeks ago I saw the man of my dreams. I was at the local grocery store (Kroger) that is frequented by many of the homosexuals. I was stocking up on my products (which inevitably only be cereal, milk, fruit and lean cuisines) all while seeing if there was anybody worth talking to….
There inevitably is. Keep reading →
“Myspace is the new booty-call.”
First of all, if you haven’t seen the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You,” stop reading on go see it now. (Seriously.)
…
OK, well, you can keep reading if you want, but you need to go see it at some point. It’s a must read for my readers. Consider it the Not So Precious Moments Movie Club. (We’re so gonna be the next Oprah.)
There is a great quote in the movie, “Myspace is the new booty-call.”
It’s so true.
But, Myspace is so trashy! I got sick in 2004 of all the personalization needed to make your page look cool. Who wants to have to write (ok – copy and paste) html coding to make your page? It’s so stupid! Plus, there is so much spam! Every time I login, I get tons of ladies writing me….news flash – I don’t like va-j-j!
I haven’t updated my Myspace in over a year and rarely login to accept new friends (that 9 times out of 10 aren’t really friends at all). I’m over it Myspace!
Facebook is my preferred social networking site. It’s has a clean design, with enough stalker technology to cyber-stalk anyone (not that I’ve ever done it).
I’m changing the quote to read “Facebook is the new booty-call” and I have a story to share (shock).
I received a friend request from a guy I’ve met on a couple occasions at various functions. I’ve always thought of him as rather attractive, but never thought to pursue anything.
Well, I accepted his friend request and promptly received a poke (I’m sorry if you don’t know what a “poke” is – google it or something, cause I don’t care to explain it right now). First of all, WTF is a poke supposed to be? It’s so stupid, but I guess it’s used as a flirtation device.
So, I waited a day and poked back. It couldn’t do any harm, right?
Well, I then received a very flirtatious email and over a few days, we exchanged a series of emails. I so knew this was going nowhere quickly since he never once mentioned a date or anything.
Well, we agreed to meetup at a local bar one evening since both of our sets of friends were going out. So, we did.
And we made out in front of everyone. (he initiated it – and my decision making skills were hindered).
After having many more drinks, we retired back to his place to consummate the relationship. As a side note, I’ve never had good drunk sex. This was no exception.
2 weeks later – not a word.
It was so a booty-friend request.
Like I minded. 
OMFG I’ve been so excited to write this post. It’s been over a week since this happened, but I’ve been super busy and haven’t had to share this with my adoring public. I’ve been seeing (not in a relationship way – in a sleeping around way) this guy for several months. Before I go on about the evening, I need to talk about this guy…
He’s a doctor – professor doctor, not medical doctor. He’s actually a professor and suprisingly has a decent personality. He’s a little shorter than I, but nothing he doesn’t make up for in pecs.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m a complete whore (except I don’t get paid). I’m not sure if it’s part of being male or homosexual, but the combination is damning. Almost every Sunday morning, I head to my local Starbucks. Well, I have about 5 “local” ones, but I choose this particular one for its fantastic people watching and abundant seating. And now, for more dubious reasons…
I go there as part of my admittedly nerdy routine to have a go at the Sunday Crossword. Of the almost year of doing this, I’ve only managed to finish it once. But it’s helped me get lucky a few times, so I stick with it.
My Horizontal Life
Many of you have asked why I would do this blog. Mostly its for fun, but eventually, it’d be neat to have a book deal (hello Simon & Schuster). This idea started when I was in Vegas on vacation. I sat by the pool all day drinking and reading a book by comedienne Chelsea Handler called “My Horizontal Life.” It’s fucking hilarious!
It’s a collection of stories about her sexual exploits and other funny events. I laughed out loud many times and for those that know me, you know I have a loud laugh. I was getting many stares, but I didn’t care (that’s mostly due to the pina coladas).
Check out Chelea’s Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/chelseahandler
Buy her book at your local bookstore or at Amazon.
A friend sent this to me…it’s effin hilarious!
If you didn’t see this on the Tonight show, I hope you’re sitting down when you read it.
This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!
We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter…Snowing and quite cold…and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere!
Yes, even I have been stood up.
Bastard.
Sorry – I try not to curse so much at the begining of the post (I save that for later).
Don’t worry – I’m not bitter and since this is an anonymous blog, I’m not going to reveal his name (but if I were bitter, I would tell you that his name rhymes with Datrick and starts with a “P”). So, here’s the story…
Several friends and myself were invited to a birthday party at a relatively new gay bar in town. We went and were pleasantly suprised by the place. All of the bartenders were good-looking, shirtless and knew what a vodka tonic was. I was happy.
This date happened many years ago, so some of the details are sketchy, but I’ll fill in to “creatively enhance” the story If needed.
It was a romantic evening of drinking and dancing at a great club. Since I was relatively new to town and my friends didn’t care to go out with me, I was actually out by myself, but quickly met people including a very hot guy on the dance floor.
